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Having left his son in charge God treats himself to a week off at the beginning of the seventeenth century. He returns to find out that things on earth haven't gone quite to plan. A word about celestial time. Eternity isn't really eternal. It's just very slow. A day in heaven is the equivalent of 57 earth years.

Our position is, if our tradition does not square with the Bible, then we need to change the tradition and not the Bible. We certainly question the idea that our behavior does not affect our salvation, or that our salvation does not affect our behavior.

Our salvation normally will be revealed in our behavior. We question also the doctrine of the pre-tribulation "rapture.

We look for the coming of the Kingdom of God to the earth, rather than eternal residence in Heaven. Have you ever tried to find in the Bible where we are supposed to spend eternity in Heaven?

We want to be with Jesus where He is—in the center of the Person and will of God, not stuck in an unscriptural mansion somewhere. A day in heaven is the equivalent of 57 earth years.

When He took His week off it was , the height of the Renaissance -- King Lear was being performed on the London stage and Galileo was squinting through his prototype telescope. A good time to go fishing.

When He returns it is It has not been an uneventful years, thinks God, as He asks 'Where is the little bastard? In celestial time, he's only been back a few weeks.

After God has ripped Jesus a new asshole he calls a meeting of the Saints: the earth has become a human toilet. Genocide; starvation; people obsessed with vacuous celebrity culture 'and,' God points out, 'there are fucking Christians everywhere.

What's to be done? Peter argues for flushing the whole thing down the toilet and starting again.